Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Fedex lady must think I'm whacked

I prefaced my call to Fedex with "I know this might sound crazy..."

What else can you say when you know you are about to ask something that would make people look at you in a different light? It's one thing to send flowers or candy, but when you want to send an ornate knife used in rituals? I mean, can you send a weapon through Fedex and not get caught? And if there are traces of blood on it... I suppose you can. However, I just wanted to know if I could send it from one end of the United States to the other in the same day. Apparently you need an account to do that, and the package must be under 15 pounds. Well WOOO HOOO. Now I have a way to send pressies when I'm really late :-D

Now how to prove this to an editor?
Me: Yeah, I called Fedex. As long as Mr. X has an account with them he can send the four pound knife from Y to Z in the same day.
Miss Editor: Really? You called them?
Me: Yeah, I identified myself as an author, and she didn't even question me. Nor did she stutter or cough when I mentioned murder weapon and mailing it--
Miss Editor: I don't know. The readers might not believe this...
Me: They do say truth is stranger than fiction.

Now... will Homeland Security come after me? Perhaps the police will barge in one day as I'm changing my son's diaper, guns drawn and shouting, "Hit the ground and don't move."

I dunno, I got my laugh for the day.


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